


Adam's School Skirt Rebellion

by Eigon



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, School Uniforms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27162626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eigon/pseuds/Eigon
Summary: Several protests have happened at English secondary schools where the boys wore skirts because they were not allowed to wear shorts in summer.  In this case, Adam Young is the ringleader.
Relationships: Brian & Pepper & Wensleydale & Adam Young (Good Omens)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Adam's School Skirt Rebellion

**Author's Note:**

> [1] The first year of secondary school is known as Year Seven, going up to Year Eleven.  
> [2] Ofsted is the government body, the Office for Standards in Education, Children's Services and Skills.

"'S too hot," Brian complained, wriggling on the bus seat. He'd already taken his school sweater off, and his tie was pulled loose so he could undo the top button of his shirt.  
"I wish we could wear shorts," Adam said.  
One of the older girls leaned across the aisle. "Old Musgrove doesn't like shorts," she said. "You wait – he'll be making his annual speech about it in Assembly any day now – and you'd better put your sweater back on before any of the teachers see you, or you'll be in trouble."   
The Them groaned collectively. Mr Musgrove was the head teacher.  
"Another example of the tyranny of the patriarchy," Pepper commented gloomily.

"It has been brought to my attention," Mr Musgrove intoned, after he'd finished reading out the usual notices at the end of the weekly Assembly, "that some boys have been asking to wear shorts to school. Let me make it quite clear – shorts are not part of our school uniform, apart from games kit, of course. Any boy who comes to school in shorts will receive a negative behaviour point. Norton Comprehensive School has a good reputation locally, and part of that good reputation is formed by the local community seeing our pupils in a smart uniform at all times."

"I've had an idea," Adam said, at break time. "I think we can stop wearing trousers and still be in school uniform."  
"How could we do that then?" Brian asked.  
Adam looked at Pepper thoughtfully. "We could wear skirts."  
Pepper grinned. "Adam, that's brilliant! Old Musgrove can't say that skirts aren't school uniform, because they are – and if he stopped boys from wearing skirts, he'd have to stop the girls from wearing skirts too, and I could wear trousers like I wanted to in the first place." It had been a sore point for Pepper that the school uniform reflected such old-fashioned gender stereotypes. She was much cooler than the boys in summer in her pleated navy skirt and white knee socks, but in winter her bare legs were freezing, and it Wasn't Fair.  
"Where are we going to get girls' skirts from, though?" Wensleydale asked.  
"Leave that to me," said Adam.

Adam's grand plan was to ask all the older girls on the school bus back to Tadfield that afternoon for their spare skirts. He started with Darcy, who had warned them about Mr Musgrove's hatred of shorts. The plan worked because he believed it would work. Some of the older boys joined in gleefully. Greasy Johnson and his gang jeered from the back seats, but only half-heartedly. They were all too hot as well.

The following morning, they had more than enough skirts for all the boys who wanted to wear them. They changed round the back of the bus shelter.  
"Just act natural when we get to school," Adam said. "Act as if nothing's wrong, and we're all in proper uniform."  
"Because you are," said Pepper. "And, actually, the skirt suits you, Adam."  
"We should have a petition, too," Wensleydale said, when they were settled in the bus. "My dad says you should always have a petition. We need to get as many people as we can to sign it and then take it to Old Musgrove."  
The Them looked at each other apprehensively. "Who's going to do that?" asked Brian.  
"I will, of course," Adam said. It wasn't so long ago that he'd faced down Satan. The headmaster of Norton Comprehensive held no terrors for him.   
"What should it say?" Brian asked.  
"We, the undersigned – petitions always start like that," said Wensleydale, writing this at the top of a page of his rough book. He looked up, chewing the top of his biro thoughtfully. "That's as far as I'd got, actually," he said.  
"As we are not permitted to wear shorts," said Darcy, who had moved to sit just behind them, "we, the undersigned, have decided...."  
Wensleydale scribbled furiously to keep up. "Slow down, Darcy," he said.  
"...have decided," Darcy continued, more slowly, "to – um -"  
"...comply with the school rules on uniform," Pepper said, "by wearing skirts to school instead of trousers...."  
"...and those of us who are not wearing skirts support those who do," Adam finished. "That should do it, don't you think?"  
Wensleydale's rough book was passed round the bus, and by the time they got to school, nearly everybody had signed it.  
"I'm not signing your smelly petition," said Greasy Johnson, glowering round the members of his gang so they wouldn't either. "I'm not wearing a skirt, either. I'm not a girl."  
Pepper gave an exaggerated sigh. "Wearing a skirt doesn't turn you into a girl, stupid," she said.  
"And boys wear skirts too," said Brian. "Look at Scotsmen."  
"Those are kilts," Adam said.  
"They still look like skirts, though," said Brian.  
"I saw this documentary once," said Wensleydale, "and it said that the Germans called Scottish soldiers 'devils in skirts'."  
"So there," said Pepper, glaring at Greasy Johnson. "And you wouldn't mess with an angry Scottish man, would you?"  
Greasy Johnson stuck his tongue out at her. "Still not signing your smelly petition," he said. "You're only going to get in trouble."  
Darcy shrugged. "So we'll all get in trouble together," she said. "Won't be so bad."  
Adam started smiling, the sort of smile he did when he got a really good idea. "We could send a letter to the Tadfield Advertiser," he said.  
Pepper grinned back at him. "Like one of Mr Tyler's letters, only better!" she said.  
"One of the girls in my class has got a cousin who works for Radio Oxford," said Darcy. "We could get them to interview us."  
Adam grinned. "That'd be awesome," he said.  
They had got to the form room by now, and Mrs Jennings was coming in with the register. She stopped when she saw Adam. "Adam Young – what do you think you're wearing?"  
"School uniform, miss," he said cheerfully.  
She gave him a stern look and said: "Go to Mr Musgrove's office straight after registration." She looked round the classroom. "Is there any other boy here wearing a skirt? Ah – Jeremy Wensleydale – and you, too, Brian – I might have known you'd be involved. You go to see the headmaster, too."  
They grinned at each other. Their plan was working.  
Greasy Johnson sniggered. "Told you you'd get into trouble," he said.  
Pepper said, "I'm going with you, Adam."  
"What for?" Brian asked.  
"You're being sent to Mr Musgrove for wearing a skirt. I'm wearing a skirt, so I should be sent to the headmaster too."  
Adam nodded. "That's only logical sense," he said.

They were not the only pupils outside the headmaster's office after Assembly. All the Tadfield boys were there. One of the Year Tens, a tall boy called Craig, whose father farmed just outside Tadfield and who already knew how to drive a tractor, grinned at them. "Up the Revolution!" he whispered.  
There was, in fact, not enough room in Mr Musgrove's office for all of them to go in, so he came out into the corridor to speak to them. "What's all this nonsense, then?" he asked. "And who is the ringleader?" He frowned at Craig. "You, Spencer?"  
"No, sir," Adam said breezily, stepping forward. "It's me."  
"You're in Year Seven[1], aren't you?" Mr Musgrave said. "What's your name, boy?"  
"Adam Young, sir, and I'd just like to say that we are all wearing school uniform, just like you said yesterday," Adam said.  
"You most certainly are not!" He paused, distracted as he noticed Pepper coming up to stand beside Adam. "What are you doing here? You'll have to wait until I've dealt with these boys before I see you."  
"I'm here for the same reason they are, sir," she said. "They're here for wearing a skirt, and I'm wearing a skirt, so if they get a negative behaviour point, I should too."  
"Don't be ridiculous!" He paused. "I know who you are – your mother teaches at the Polytechnic, doesn't she? I suppose she's filled your head with all this nonsense."  
"Gender stereotyping isn't nonsense!" Pepper said. Somewhat to her surprise, there was a small cheer from some of the boys. "And that's just what this is."  
"I don't care what you call it – I will not have it in my school," Mr Musgrove said. He glared around the group of boys. "All of you are getting negative behaviour points. I will be sending emails to all your parents, and I expect to see all of you in trousers tomorrow."  
He stepped back into his office and shut the door.

"That went better than I thought it would," Craig said that afternoon, on the way back to the bus stop. "You being little Year Sevens, you've never seen Old Musgrove when he's really mad."  
Darcy nodded. "There was that time last year – we never did find out what the Year Tens had been up to. Two of them were permanently excluded."  
"You'll be up for doing this again tomorrow, then?" Adam asked.  
"Yeah – why not?" Craig said. "I'll do some texting from home, get some of the others in our class on board."  
Adam smiled quietly. It was the same smile that he'd had when he first came into his powers as the Antichrist, that afternoon the previous summer. Pepper exchanged a worried glance with Wensleydale and Brian.  
They didn't say anything until they'd got off the bus and were walking home, and it was just the Them on their own again.  
"You all right, Adam?" Pepper asked, carefully.  
"Fine," he said. He stopped as he saw how they were looking at him. "Really fine, honestly. I'm not going to get all – Antichristy – again. Learned my lesson last time."  
"That's all right then," said Brian.  
"Made me think, though," Adam continued. "I mean, I literally changed reality when I stood up to Satan. I stopped the Apocalypse, and I made everything go back to how it had been before, and – what if I did something else, too?"  
"Like what?" asked Wensleydale, still sounding worried.  
"Like, what if I changed what the Antichrist actually is?" Adam asked. "There was that Plan I was supposed to go along with, that said the Antichrist was supposed to rule the world, but I didn't want to do that, and I didn't want to be the Son of Satan, so I wasn't. So – what if I changed what the Antichrist was supposed to be into something else?"  
"What sort of something else?" asked Brian. He really hadn't liked it when Adam was being so scary, and he wasn't sure he wanted to be reminded of it now.  
"So, I stood up to those weird grown ups, and I stood up to Satan, and he backed down. They all backed down. What if I made it so that's what the Antichrist does? I mean, standing up to people?"  
"People in authority, you mean?" Pepper asked.  
"Yeah," Adam said. "What if I made it so that I stand up to people in authority – and WIN?"  
They all thought about this for a moment.  
"I reckon this is a good rehearsal," Adam said at last, "so I can get the hang of it for bigger things when I get older."

The next morning, the Tadfield boys all turned up to the school bus in skirts (apart from the Johnsonites), and when they got to the school gates, they found that they were not alone. There were boys from every year group and from all the surrounding villages wearing skirts.  
There was also a reporter from the Tadfield Advertiser, and a photographer. After lining up as many boys as they could for a photo, the reporter said: "So, who had the idea for this?"  
Adam stepped forward. "I did. Ol – Mr Musgrove said we couldn't wear shorts, and it's too hot for trousers, so we decided to wear something cooler that was still school uniform. We all got a negative behaviour point yesterday," he added.  
"Yesterday, it was just the boys from Tadfield, is that right? And today...."  
"I'm from Norton," said one of the Year Eight boys.  
"And I'm from Wheatley," said a Year Nine boy.   
The reporter took down names and villages until the bell rang for them to go into school. "Thanks, boys," he said. "I'll just go and see if I can get an interview with the headmaster now."  
"Wicked," said Adam.

When Adam and his friends arrived at the corridor outside the headmaster's office, they found it already full of boys wearing skirts. One of them pushed through the crowd when he saw Adam. "There's a reporter in there with Old Musgrove!" he said.  
Shortly after that, the reporter and the photographer came out, followed by Mr Musgrove. The headmaster looked furious.  
"This is unacceptable behaviour!" he began, as soon as the reporter was out of earshot. "I will not have the good name of this school dragged through the mud! Our school uniform policy is strict for a good reason – a smart uniform is better for a disciplined learning environment. Norton Comprehensive has a good reputation overall, and this – this foolishness – is tarnishing that reputation. I will not have it! Is that clear?"  
There was a general mumbling of "Yes, sir," before Adam pushed to the front. "But we're all wearing our smart school uniform, sir – unless you want all the girls to be sent home as well."  
"Oh, it's you, Young, being ridiculous again." He glared round the crowd of boys. "I have made my position on this quite clear. All of you are in detention this lunchtime."  
Pepper pushed up beside Adam. "Sir, sir, I've got a note from my mum," she said.  
He glared at her, but he took the note. "What has that ridiculous woman got to say about this now?" he asked. He shook his head. "It makes no difference – you are also out of uniform, and you will wear skirts in future."

At morning break, Adam asked: "What did your mum say in her note, then?"  
Pepper grinned. "She agreed with me about the gender stereotyping, and she said that Old Musgrove has anti-diluvian attitudes."  
"Anti-what?" asked Brian.  
"It means, from before the Flood," said Wensleydale. "The Biblical Flood, I mean, Noah and that."  
"Crept out of the primordial slime," Adam said with relish.  
"What did your dad say?" Pepper asked.  
Adam grinned. "He said he wouldn't be seen dead wearing a skirt, but he admired my stand against irrational regulations."  
"That's pretty much what my dad said too," said Wensleydale.  
"My dad wanted to know if I was turning gay," Brian said. "I told him I didn't fancy anyone yet, so I didn't know."

The following morning, a reporter from Radio Oxford was at the school gates, and Adam gave an interview by talking into a microphone that looked like a furry grey rat on a stick.  
Mr Musgrove came out onto the school playing field and gave a short statement to the reporter about the importance of sticking to a smart school uniform – which did not include skirts for boys. He also said that he deplored the fact that some parents were encouraging their children in their rebellious behaviour. The school had had more emails on the subject than anything else since he first became head teacher. The school secretary was, figuratively speaking, tearing her hair out. The Local Education Authority was becoming involved, as well as Ofsted [2].   
By this time, there were a fair number of girls who were following Pepper and Darcy's lead and supporting the boys. Since the boys were getting detention for wearing skirts, they turned up for detention too. They weren't allowed into the classrooms where the detentions were taking place, but they did turn up. Some of the teachers had been overheard complaining that they were stuck running the detentions during their lunch breaks, too.   
Wensleydale's petition, getting more and more dog-eared, was being passed around the school. The rough book was nearly full of signatures.

Adam took his dad's copy of the Tadfield Advertiser and slipped out of the garden through the hole in the hedge with Dog. He met the rest of the Them in the usual place in the woods.  
"Look at this!" he said, spreading the paper out on an old packing case so they could all see.  
There was a picture of about a dozen boys, including Adam, Brian and Wensleydale, on the front cover, with the headline "School Uniform Rebellion". Under it was a short article with quotes from Adam and Mr Musgrove.  
"An' that's not all," Adam said triumphantly. He turned to the Letters page. The email that Wensleydale had carefully drafted about the reasons for the Skirt Protest had been printed in full, with all of their names.   
A little further down the page, there was a letter from RP Tyler. "I do not know what the world is coming to!" he wrote. "I was walking my dog to the village shop and there were boys dressed as girls all over the green! This would never have happened in my day – there was proper discipline in schools then, and such boys would have been given the cane!"  
"They really used to do that," said Pepper, "hit kids with a cane. It was barbaric."

The following day, Adam presented Mr Musgrove with the petition, backed up by a whole corridor full of boys and girls from every year group of the school.   
"Every pupil on this list will have lunchtime detention for the rest of the week, as well as negative behaviour points," Mr Musgrove said. "All your parents will receive emails detailing your insubordination and unacceptable behaviour."

The following Monday, Mrs Fletcher the deputy head took the weekly Assembly for the whole school. Mr Musgrove was nowhere to be seen. Nothing was said about boys wearing skirts.

On every other day of the week, the different year groups had their own, separate Assembly. That Thursday, Mrs Jennings read out an announcement from Mrs Fletcher.   
"Sadly, Mr Musgrove will not be returning to school this term," she began, waving her hand for quiet as cheers started from various parts of the classroom, from pupils who did not think it was a sad thing at all. "Mrs Fletcher will be taking over as Acting Head, until such time as Mr Musgrove feels able to return. In the meantime, she has this to say about school uniform policy: 'I agree with Mr Musgrove that a smart uniform makes for a disciplined learning environment.'" There were groans around the classroom. "'However – the learning environment should also be comfortable, and fair. The Norton Comprehensive school uniform will remain the same as it always has been, with this proviso – all items on the list of approved school clothing may be worn by all pupils. For the rest of the term at least, there will be no expectation that only boys wear trousers and only girls wear skirts.'"  
Mrs Jennings looked around the room, her gaze lingering for a moment on Adam Young. "I have to say that I agree with Mrs Fletcher," she said. "This protest has taken up far more time and energy than it deserves, when many pupils in the higher year groups are taking exams, which is what they should be concentrating on. One of the reasons for having a uniform in the first place is so that pupils don't have to think about what they are wearing, which can be a distraction from schoolwork. Now, I expect you all to file out quietly to go to your first lesson."  
It was difficult, but Pepper managed to restrain her whoops of joy until they were in the corridor. "You did it, Adam!" she said. "You can wear skirts, and I can wear trousers!" She stopped and put her hand over her mouth, still giggling, as Mrs Jennings' voice echoed down the corridor.   
"Quietly, Pepper! I can still hear you!"


End file.
